Husband...

I never knew what love meant until I met you...
You're always there for me,
Whenever I need you...
You worry so much for baby and me...
And I do too...
That when we are not together,
We miss each other all the way thru...

You always comfort me,
When I'm sad...
You try so hard to make me happy,
Even when I'm mad...
I don't know sometimes how you put up with me...
I guess that's very nice,
To have a wonderful husband,
Always by my side...

Dedicated to my husband, Muhamad Rizal Yusop...

A Piece Of My Reflection...

Thru my two decades of trials and tribulations, I've seen different kinds of human beings from different aspects of life - perfectionists, braggarts, temperamentals, show-offs etc. I learn not to be deceived by those who obtain friendship and fondness of others by simply exploiting their cash and beauty as baits.

I can't seem to comprehend the reason or purpose of those who rather prefer good looks and money than those having a sincere heart. Why should 'sincere hearts' receive the gossips and critics while 'show-off, ill-mannered braggarts' receive the praise and credits? (And these braggarts will not put an end to their bragging even if the allegations made are MOSTLY not in accordance with their real life situation!!)

I believe that the love of money is the source of all wickedness... Money is not our 'passport' to heaven nor will it last for eternity. I know that The Almighty is willing to shower His humble servants with happiness thru wealth but He also has the ability to bring upon them with suffering thru poverty.

I guess love is really, really 'blind', due to the fact that most humans rather prefer the outer beauty than ones inner beauty. But being pretty or handsome doesn't completely reflect ones own 'true colour' - misbehaving, misconduct or should I say... misuse of the 'freedom' given. I am aware that The Almighty is able to present His humble servants with dignity and respect but we must not forget that He is able to test us with humiliation.

I learn that to fall in love with someone simply because of their looks is dangerous and misguided for many reasons. Firstly, those good looks might conceal less pleasant sides to their character to which I've said earlier, "love is blind". Later, because of the obsession with the partner's looks, the enamoured partner might be influenced into doing OR accepting all sorts of wrong conduct in their desperation to keep their love for their 'idol'. Thus, those good looks might even cause a form of 'SHIRK' in the heart of the one desperately in love with them. Secondly, the good-looking person might be perfectly decent and good, but unfortunately the good looks begin to deteriorate with age, or increasing fatness, or damage thru accident or illness.

What then? If the lover only wanted them because of their looks, the relationship is now on tricky ground...

Human beings has a tendency of making mistakes. I must confess that I am one of those who commits errors of my own. Learning and perceiving the mistakes of others including that of my own assists me in various ways. Sometimes, it's good to look back at your past deeds coz by doing so, you could at least compare the sort of person you was with the one you are presently.

I am truly grateful and thankful to The Almighty for waking me and my partner up. Without His Gracious Light, we would not be what we are today... I hope we will stay that way and improve ourselves in becoming a much more better person each and every single day...

Insya'allah... Ameen...

Don't Be So Daft, Think Before You Laugh, Your Eyes On My Scarf...

When you look at me
All you can see
Is the scarf that covers my hair
My words you can't hear
Because you're too full of fear,
Mouth gaping, all you can do is stare
You think it's not my own choice

In your own 'liberation', you rejoice
You're so thankful that you're not me
You think I'm uneducated,
Trapped, oppressed and subjugated
You're so thankful that you are 'free'
But Western woman, you've got it wrong
You're the weak and I'm the strong
For I've rejected the trap of man
Fancy clothes - low neck, short skirt,
These are devices for pain and hurt
I'm not falling for that little plan

Always jumping to the male agenda,
Competing on his terms
No jod share, no creche facilities
No feeding and nappy changing amenities
Ni time-off for menstrual pain
'Hormones', they laugh, "What a shame..."

No equal pay for equal skill
Your job they can always fill
No promotion unless you're sterilized
No promotion unless you're sexually terrorized
And is this 'LIBERATION'?

I'm a person with ideas and though
I'm not for sale, I can't be bought
I won't decorate anyone's arm
Nor be promoted for my charm
There's more to me than playing coy
Living life is a balancing game - mother
Daughter, wife, cleaner, cook, lover
And still bring home a wage

Who thought up this 'Freedom',
Where man can love 'em and leave 'em?
This is not 'free' but life in a cage

Western woman you have your life
Mine - it has less strife
I cover and I get respected
Surely that's to be expected
For I won't demean the feminine
I won't live to a male criterion
I dance to my own tune,
And I hope you see this very soon,
For your sake wake up and use your sight!
Are you sure that you are right?
A sis-in-law of mine sent an interesting article about a Hindu lady who converted to Islam. Making me recall this poem...

You'll Have to Woo Your Wife Again...

You'll have to woo your wife again,

And then again, and then again,

As many times as there are times,

A well-worn silence tells you when...

You'll have to play the lover new,

All hot to touch and squeeze and kiss,

All shivery with ecstacy,

Unbuttoning the buds of bliss...

You'll have to re-seduce a flesh,

Familiar as your own raw nude,

With praise and passionate displays,

Of need and joy and gratitude...

For you not need give up for life,

The pure and simple gift of lust...

A marriage does as marriage is:

The play of pleasure, love and trust...

March 18th, 2006...

Some Of The Things That Change When I Have Him...

MUHAMAD ISYRAQ ASIL BIN MUHAMAD RIZAL

> I finally stop to smell the roses, because my baby is in my arms.
> Where I once believed I was fearless, I now find myself afraid.
> The sacrifices I thought I made to have my child no longer seems like sacrifices.
> I respect my body... finally.
> I respect my parents more & love them in a new way.
> I find that my baby's pain feels much more worse than my own.
> I believe once again in the things I believed in as a child.
> I lose touch with the people in my life whom I should've banished years ago.
> My heart breaks much more easily.
> I think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
> Everyday is a surprise.
> Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please me. (Hooray for POOP!)
> I look at my baby in the mirror instead of myself.
> I become a morning person.
> My love become limitless, a superhuman power.
> I discover how much there's to say bout one little tooth.
> I realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth.
> I now know where the sun comes frm.
> I'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that I've been dying to have.
> I realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers.
> I don't mind going to bed early with my baby.
> "Silence? Wat's dat?"
> I realize that the 15 pounds I can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having.
> I discover an inner strength I never thought I had.
> I no longer rely on a clock - my baby now sets my schedule.
> I give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feelin' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one.
> My cat - who used to be my 'baby' - becomes just a CAT.
> I take the time for one more hug & kiss even if it means I'll be late for work.
> I learn that taking a shower is a luxury.
> I realize that I can love a complete stranger.

Fakers...

How can they all be so happy?
Can't they see the deception that lies ahead, behind and everywhere?
Am I the only one who knows that everyone is the same backstabbing and abusive idiots?
Do they not care?
Do they just turn a blind eye to the fate that awaits them?
Do they like it that way?
Faking a happy life...
OR
Are they just ignorant,
Of the way people really are...
Someone should tell them...
OR
Maybe not...
Maybe someone should have told me...
Maybe I should have listen...
Maybe I should let them get hurt like I did...
Maybe...
Maybe not...

Greed...

I must have it all,

Greed has many friends,

Greed would & could be the base of the 7 sins,

Yes! Greed could be the leader...

Greed controls LUSTER; You must have such a touch,

Greed controls PRIDE; You must be the best,

Greed controls ENVY; You must have what's not yours,

Greed controls GLUTTONY; You must have food,

Greed controls WRATH; You must be mad,

Greed controls SLOTH; You must be about YOU...

Greed is the have it all feeling,

Even if you can't use it all,

Greed is normally associated with money,

But it can be other things...

When there is a need,

There is always greed,

A rotten exploiting deed,

That manifests with speed...

When there are mouths to feed,

Read between the lines & take heed!

Lurking around is an inspiring greed,

Ready to take advantage & proceed...

Even when there is no need to succeed,

By now it is agreed, there is always greed,

Our desire for more always exceeds our needs,

Hence wealth, power & greed have always been married...

Have we ever wondered,

What greed took away?

We lost the love we craved for,

Now think of it & weigh...

Where we live, what we drive,

Or the gold we wear,

Have we ever noticed?

Few seem to care...

We sit on a mound of pride,

And build a ship of greed,

Money is all we think of,

And money is all we need...

Our heads are full of envy,

And weakened hearts we hold,

Aloof & lonely we remain,

Illness we behold...

Friends, love & happiness,

With wealth cannot be bought,

Can never be nursed with greed,

But only by the heart...

We always want more,

Sometimes I don't know what for,

I read & understand what generation of breed,

Has given birth to this senseless weed,

Because life is a circle of endless greed...

I urgently need to know, I plead...

Who planted this seed of greed to deliberately mislead?