We've Come This Far Just To Be Together...

Baba - August 8th 1979...

It is said that who you choose marry with, reflects the type of marriage life you're gonna have... And it's that way of life that will leave an impression to all those around you...

And as husband & wife, happiness & hardships are always shared with one another... Discussions & especially arguments are some things that we have to adapt ourselves with... Whatever we do, we would always relate to one another...

The way we talk is different now compared to our lives before we got married... We learned the meaning of "respect" even more... We learned to be more patient...

I guess as years gone by, it has somehow taught us to be a better husband & wife each day... And of course we all do have flaws, where we learned from it & never to repeat the same mistakes again...

Marriage life is something that shouldn't be taken for granted...

It's about respecting his rights as a husband, the head of the family... And respecting my rights as a wife...

I remembered how Grams gave me this piece of advise the moment she finds out that I'm getting engaged, "You can choose & marry a man who knows how to please you; ugly or handsome he may be. But to marry a man who couldn't even lead you to be a good Muslim wife, that is such a waste. Coz he's gonna be the head of your family one day. And you're gonna bore his children & the lineage continues from there on... Ask Allah whether is he truly the one whom you choose to marry with, the one who will guide your family to be a better Muslim... "

Well, I did alright... Thanks to my Grams for the advise...

And to Baba: Yes, I know, you don't ask much of a birthday surprise... And yet you still got that on your birthday... I guess to you, birthdays are much more meaningful to you when you have people just be as they are & treating you with sincerity in their hearts... A year older and a year wiser, yes you are & will be... Insya'allah, amin... =)

A Birthday To Remember...

July 31st, 1981 - 2010...

Thank you Baba, Abang Asil & Adek Asyura,
for the wonderful dinner treats & gift that you bought for Ummi...

Thank you Sis Muz & Bro Yus,

for the yummy chocolate birthday cake...

& for the trouble that all of you (including Baba & Asyura while tired Asil's asleep already) took,

just to wish & sing me a birthday song on the midnite of July 31st, 2010...

Thank you Principal Fidzah Tan (aka Ah Moi) & Teacher Saurah (aka Cousin Lala),

for your efforts of making the cute little handmade birthday card,

with a Pink Blingy Teddy Bear pasted infront of it especially for me...

And to Cousin Lala, thank you once again coz every year without fail,

you would call me up at midnite just to wish me on my birthday...

Thank you colleagues; Wei Feng, Adeline, Chen Yi & Mala,

for the little mini birthday surprise, camwhoring & all...

And to Wak Lan, Cik Yati, Syafiq, Waheedah & Cousin Sufi,

Thank you for remembering my birthday as well...

Thank you ALL,

for making me smile on this day,

coz it made me realise yet again,

I'm a year older & a year wiser...

& am blessed with so many good caring people around me...

And on this day too,

I am forever in His debt...

The air that I breathe,

The chances that He gives me each day,

for sustaining me & keeping me alive on this earth...

Syukur Alhamdulillah... =)

The most wonderful birthday present that I could possibly have is having the love & support from my family, relatives & friends, who're always there no matter rain or shine life would turn out to be...

And most importantly, Him, up there,

For giving me, this ME...

Forever, I'm thankful & grateful...

Happy 12th Birthday To My Youngest Brother...

(from right) My late uncle, Wak Mi with me & my lil bro, Adam...

June 7th, 1998...

This was the date, that you were born...

I remembered how I was going all panicky crazy when mom's waterbag burst & everyone's home except dad... He, was "unreachable"...

I remembered how I called Pak Long & Mak Long (paternal side of the family who stayed in the same neighbourhood) in the wee hours of the morning for help, to send mom to the KK Women's & Children's Hospital...

And again, the same question asked by my Pak Long, "Where's your dad? Does he know that your mom is delivering your adek soon?"

I answered, "Nope Pak Long... He's unreachable... We tried calling him so many times but just couldn't get him..."

I remembered how I sat in between both of my Pak Long & Mak Long... How pissed my Pak Long was when he tried calling dad who, yet still, was unreachable... He was so so pissed... Mak Long on the other hand, was rubbing my back, telling me to be strong as I'm the eldest child in the family & I must have the courage & patience to go thru all of this...

"Always be strong in whatever situation that comes even if we feel like crying", she said... This, I will always remember...

I remembered, how Alep was sleeping on my lap snoring like crazy... lol... How he forgot to bring his "bantal busok" along with him... lol...

I remembered how I kept worrying about mom who was all alone in the delivery ward without dad by her side... I mean, HALO!! Every wife needs her husband in times like this but WHERE WAS DAD?

He came alright... But @ the very last moment... Macam star karat dengan muke tak bersalah... Whatever...

I could vividly remember how he walked & looked like as he entered the waiting room area, walking towards us... And how @ that very moment, I felt like punching his face...

Then you came into this world... So innocently adorable & cute... A baby who know nuts on what's happening around him...

A month later, mom had to work coz dad wasn't like any other "DAD"... So mom had to be our "DAD" while her role of being a "MOM" was given to me...

I took care of you & Alep... Gave treats to the both of you whenever I got my pay from working as a part-time cashier... Cooked for you 2, fed you 2, bathe you...

I never left you outta my side, be it group studies or even when I went out on dates with Abang Rizal & people would always mistook you for our son... lol... Hilarious much... heh...

I disciplined you, taught you what's wrong & what's right... I scolded & even smacked you... But @ the end of it, I would always give you a big hug & a kiss, & said I'm sorry & that there's a reason why I had to do that as my last resort...

The part when I saw both you & Alep cried on the night of my wedding solemnisation saddens me... Truly I was touched & sad & felt like crying...

I recalled all those moments when I took care of my siblings... Everything that I had to go thru being the eldest sibling in the family... Indeed, I held back my tears... Me, always trying to act "tough" not wanting to cry infront of others...

Sesunggoh nye, I truly missed my siblings & my pet cat Black... I hope Allah would help me send my message down to them & tell them how much I truly misses them & that I always think of them as much as I think of my own family...

To my dearest littlest youngest brother, Muhammad Sahadam Bin Abu Bakar:

Wishing You A Wonderful 12th Birthday... May Allah guide & shield you wherever you may be...

May you grow up to be someone who is useful to Allah, Islam, family & to the society... Insya'allah, amin...

I'm hoping that some day, some how, you'll be able to find & read this entry that I wrote especially for you coz you're 1 of those few that I misses most... A part of my flesh & blood... The one whom I took care of since you were a baby...

Love you Adek...

From Kakak... ='I

Thinking Of You...

May 1st 2010...

I was always the 1st one (as usual) to greet & wish you every single year on this very day of yours... And always the one (without fail) to surprise you with gifts regardless of how much you have been hurting me or how broke I was... I always try to brush all my negative feelings aside just to put a smile on your face...

But on this very day & this very year, I wasn't there to do the things I always do for you... To greet you... And to wish you...

It wasn't my intention, really...

It's just that there's still this anger inside of me... It had somehow hindered me away... All those things that had happened between us, had already bottled up inside of me... So I rather not meet or say anything to you for now coz by doing all that, it'll just boils back my anger & I'll just be sinful to you more & more... So I don't want that to happen... I rather not... I rather stay silent...

I've already bought your gift a month in advance... And as you always know, the gift was meant for you on your birthday, as well as Mother's day since both days falls on the same month...

Eversince the incident that we had a week back... My perception about you just shrunk... The actions that you took, hurts me more & more... Instead of sealing up the cracked pieces together, you're causing the cracks to appear even more... All because of your actions... Doing things your way, without even thinking that it's gonna affect others around you...

I still keep the gift that I bought for you... Who knows, 1 day, with Allah's Will... He'll heal my broken heart & who knows, one day, may be, by any chance, I'll present the gift that I bought for you...

If only you know how much it feels that you've hurt me & my family... If only you realise that you treat each of your children & all of US, unfairly... If only you know...

"Wishing You A Happy 50th Birthday Mom... And also, Wishing You A Wonderful Happy Mom's Day Among Your Loved Ones... May Allah guide you in becoming a better person... May He make you realise all your wrongdoings... May He guide you thru your entire life... I pray & hope that one day, just one day, you'll be able to differentiate the rare diamond from the common glass with Allah's help... Amin..."

No matter how much you have hurt me to the extend, insya'allah (Amin), my prayer will always be with you & everyone in the house... Always...

Coz... You're my mom... The one who bore all those pain & suffering just to bring me into this world...

But it seems that no matter how hard I tried to please & make you happy, it doesn't seems enough for you...

I don't think, I'd like to continue with this post coz tears are running down my cheeks as I type this entry...

So... Gotta go... My lunch time's up anyway...

Bro Yus's Birthday Surprise...

We had my hubby's 3rd bro's celebrating his birthday in the same month as Asyura's...

So we planned a little birthday surprise with his wife, my Sis Muz on the birthday cake thingy & had my little kids to sang their Pak Uteh a birthday song both in English & in Hua Yi, while their Baba sang the Malay version of Happy Birthday... lol...

Tengok la gelagat anak2 ku dengan lagu Happy Birthday dorang...

Oh! An the Cake-Poking" masterpiece is a MUST for my kids... Kenape la anak2 aku suke sangat2 cocok jari ke dalam kek yang penoh berkrim dan tros masokkan jari jemari mereka yang cute-mute tu ke dalam mulot maseng2... lol...

P/S: FYI. The birthday cake that we bought for Bro Yus is called the "Mousse Cake"... Alang2 same name dengan sis-in-law kitorang, Muz... Sounds the same jer... hee hee... So bile diye makan tu kek, diye pasti tringat istri tercinte... hee hee... [To Sis Muz: Sis! Amacam? Birthday kau pulak kitorang try nyanyi dalam bahase Hindustan nak? Bahase Cine, Melayu & English da ade per... hee hee...]

Asyura's 2nd Birthday Celebration...

So previously (20.02.10) we decided that Asyura should have a birthday party celebrated in school with her classmates & teachers...

At first we thought of just buying her a huge birthday cake for her to celebrate with the whole kids & teachers in school... But ended up buying birthday titbits & a little cake instead...

Guess how many classmates my little girl has? Including her, there's only 3... ahahaha!! Banyak kan? So I couldn't possibly just packed 3 packets of birthday titbits just for her class... That's pathetically too little...

So in the end, I packed for the whole entire school which consisted of 76 little children & 11 teachers... Yes! Teachers weren't also left behind... I got them all to joined in... A bunch of sporting ladies I might say... =) Y'all should see the look on their faces when they each got a packet of birthday titbits... Muke satu2 excited giler...

SLIDE uploaded...

By the way, I did managed to record a little short video of Asyura's birthday party with the help of Miss Fidzah, the school's Principal [Thanks Fidzah!!]...

Video uploaded below...

P/S: The little cute chubby girl beside Asyura is Celeste (Asyura's classmate)... She's sooooo adorable... She has this "thing" for birthday candles & cakes... lol...

Uploaded!! Finally!!

Remember how I said in my previous blog post that I tried uploading my Asil's little birthday celebration @ Marina Barrage but the photos didn't seem to get uploaded in my SLIDE, so I uploaded the photos from my sis-in-law's (Muz) Multiply instead?

So, FINALLY!! It's DONE!! Uploaded from my own freaking digicam baby!! Woo hoo!!

Walaupon nampak macam da outdated (FYI - Asil's birthday's on 21.12.2009), aku tetap nak upload all the photos in... So, my kids would be able to see & read them as they grow... Mane la tahu kalau2 aku meninggal dulu, bole jugak dorang tengok blog aku yang tak sebrape ni untok melepaskan rindu... =)

SLIDE uploaded...

P/S: More SLIDEs to come... Ade lagi banyak gamba outdated yang harus di upload kan...

Happy 52nd Birthday Dad...

Today's your birthday...

I just don't know whether should I call or sms to wish you a "Happy Birthday..."

After what happened recently & all those mean things you said about me & my family, it's been giving me this feeling of a half-hearted daughter who is not sure of whether should she greet her dad on his birthday just like she used to every single year...

Perhaps today, on your birthday, you might think that I've forgotten your birthday... You're wrong... You should know by now that of all your children, I'm the only one who would always be the first to remember both you & mom's birthday... And as usual, I'll be the first one to wish you guys...

You know, it's really sad just to think of not wishing you on your birthday after all those said & done... Hati kakak maseh rase saket...

But don't worry dad... Even if both you & mom despised me & my family, we will always pray for your well-being no matter where you are...

Wishing you a, "Happy 52nd Birthday Papa..."

May Allah show you the righteous of way... May He give you the wisdom to realise what's good & bad and who's good & bad in this place we called Dunia...

Perhaps you're blinded by your ego after what you said about me & my family ... I don't blame you coz men are always with their egos... It's just that I hope Allah make you realise that everybody have flaws of their own... Each with their own mistakes made... And from that mistakes, we should learn not to repeat it over again... We should also never demoralise others instead we should reflect ourselves first before pointing our fingers at others...

I guess it's been like that for you eversince I was a kid... Blaming & accusing others... It's OK... I hope Allah make you realise your deeds soon... Insya'allah... Amin...